Dear Prospective Reader and Free Subscriber:
Hello! I’m Jacob. Thanks for gifting me some of your limited time. I’ll try my best not to squander it.
To start, you should know I’m an “About Me” page enthusiast; it’s the first thing I seriously look at when discovering a new Substack. It’s my favorite section to get lost in, so you’ll notice I’ve taken the maximalist approach here for mine (which, in its own meta sort of way, should already tell you something about me).
Please watch the introductory video embedded at the top or read through this section for the most comprehensive introduction to me and dad trying, including the vision for my Substack, the type of content you’ll find here, and what value I hope to provide for you.
If you choose to stick around this new internet home I’m building, I hope you’ll introduce yourself at some point by sending me a DM, an email, or commenting on my work. I’m here to make friends—lots of em.
Take good care, and talk soon,
Welcome to dad trying.
A newsletter for my fellow triers and strivers 🧡 🌱
Stackiversary: April 1st, 2024
Who are you?
If you’re in the mood for a more dynamic choose-your-own-adventure author biography that doubles as a table of contents for the first year of my writing on Substack, I recommend reading “Jacob in 50 Fragments” and coming back here for the rest.
Meanwhile, here’s the basics to get you started:
I’m 37 (as of 2024), and I’ve been falling in love with my wife
everyday since I first saw her don a pink wig as Frenchy in a dinner theater production of Grease (she stole the show, let me tell you). We’ve been together ten years now and married for five. She writes , a food and travel newsletter here on Substack that you should absolutely check out.We created two charming humans: one little boy (almost four), and one little girl (just turned two). Our baby boy is non-verbal and on the autism spectrum, and we’re learning every day how to better support him.
I spent the first 36 years of my life in Southern California (Inland Empire and then Orange County), but I recently exchanged palm trees for cornstalks when I relocated to the Midwest for my career (and more affordable everything). I miss home terribly, but I think this is my best (only?) chance at getting a piece of the American Dream. I’ll keep you posted.
I love learning, but I hate going to school, and I’ve been a crap student most of my life. I didn’t seriously go back to college until I was 23, but I recently earned a Ph.D. in English (with a focus on 20th- and 21st-century U.S. literature). Most of my professional energy, however, has been directed toward my love for teaching college-level writing at two-year colleges and working in writing centers (the same academic institutions that changed the trajectory of my life).
I’m currently an associate director for a large writing center at a public university here in the Midwest. I also teach freshman composition and literature courses when the English department sends up the Lecturer Signal. I hope my work here on Substack models for my students and the writing tutors I mentor what it looks like to have a healthy, rich, deeply engaged writing life outside of academia, one that is joyous and fulfilling rather than obligatory and draining.
When I’m not with my family or doing household chores or running errands or working or teaching or grading or procrastinating, I retreat to the basement (thanks Midwest!) to pursue what’s on my heart: making things people find entertaining, nourishing, and useful.
Still here? Thank you! Onward!
What’s your vision for dad trying: What does success on Substack look like for you?
I picture it like this: I’m consistently and unselfconsciously making art—spanning multiple genres, interests, and modalities—and sharing/recommending what inspires me, resulting in a newsletter folks look forward to receiving in their inboxes every week because it brings them value; my newsletter helps me make new friends and, together, we build our own caring corner of the internet where we contribute to each other’s personal, intellectual, and artistic flourishing through a network of mutual support, collaboration, and sustained dialogue.
That’s my dream vision for dad trying and, if you want to help me create it, please consider becoming a free subscriber. Your presence is the present, as the cliché goes
Okay, so what type of writing will I find here?
In the short introduction to Otherwise Known as the Human Condition, Geoff Dyer observes,
If something occurs that moves me deeply—the kind of experience that might provide inspiration for a poet—my instinct is to articulate and analyze it in an essay. I feel at home in essays. They’re what I most enjoy reading and writing.
He admits taking pride in “the unruly range of [his] concerns” and explains how he wants the collection of his work to demonstrate
just how thoroughly [his] career had avoided any focus, specialization, or continuity except that dictated by [his] desire to write about whatever [he] happened to be interested in at any given moment.
I can think of no better way to describe my relationship to the essay form, and what I aspire to with my writing. Thanks Geoff.
My “unruly range of concerns” includes:
literature
education
the craft of writing
substack
pop culture
parenting
fatherhood/masculinity
productivity/self-development
I explore these diverse and vast domains through long-form essays that weave together research, storytelling, and memoir. My longer pieces are complemented by shorter musings that tend to be more personal, informal, and occasionally experimental. Meanwhile, all this writing involves a lot of reading, too, so you’ll be able to find my book notes, recommendations, and the occasional piece of literary criticism collected in a dedicated series called “Dad’s Bookshelf.”
Is dad trying a parenting advice blog?
No, not even close. Dad trying is an aspirational space where I share what I’m learning and reflect on the many ways I still need to grow to ultimately become a better version of myself and the dad my family deserves. If Father Knows Best, you’ll find him on a different Substack.
Then why dad trying? What’s behind the name?
I’m a dad trying to be better for my family, students, colleagues, and community, and that’s the animating spirit behind everything I do here. The name emerged from those moments of reflection or frustration where I’d be saying to myself or my wife I’m really trying to change, trying to be a better dad and husband. The original concept for this Substack is documenting my attempts and failures to do just that. This newsletter is me opening up my world and sharing that process of becoming and self-fashioning, thinking out loud with you about how things went, what’s next, and why.
Regardless of its public success, I envision this Substack becoming an interactive museum for my kids: Here is your dad trying to become a better version of himself because he loves you. One day, years from now, my kids will be able to poke around this Substack—or wherever the files are stored—and discover firsthand what their dad was thinking, feeling, and doing when they were little; they can hear my voice, see my face, read my writing, look at my pictures, and discover the art that inspired me. If I don’t end up with a single subscriber, I’ll at least have made an archive for the people whose very existence motivated me to make the most of mine, a living monument to my love for them, and an artifact capable of echoing for generations after I’m gone: I love you, and I tried my best for you and your mom.
Why is dad trying completely free, and how can I support your work?
I’m focused on developing as a writer, building an audience for my work, gaining my readers’ trust, and making friends. That’s why I’m on Substack.
I’ll revisit paid subscriptions next year after my Stackiversary (which will be 4/1/25). Even then, the goal will be to avoid dividing the community. I want to keep my weekly writing free and accessible to everyone, forever. The goal, eventually, will be to avoid paywalling my writing in favor of offering extras for the “true fans” who want to invest in my work. When we get to that point, we’ll collaborate on what a premium subscription would look like given my writing will still be free. This way, everyone wins, and we can keep our community together while also creating incentives for my patrons.
Readers that are moved to support me during my pilot year on Substack are encouraged to buy me a coffee—literally, here’s my receipt from my favorite local coffee shop:
You can also pledge a membership for when paid subscriptions eventually do go live next year (and, don’t worry—you’ll have fair warning before I turn them on). Please also consider sharing dad trying with your friends and family!
— Follow my website here (coming soon!)
— 🎥 Follow the official dad trying YouTube channel here
— 📸 For behind-the-scenes content, follow me on Instagram
