Thanks for sharing. As someone who suffers from anxiety. Sometimes a trip to the grocery store can feel overwhelming, but I do it anyway. You writing described perfectly what someone with an anxious mind struggles with daily
This is very relatable to any of us who have ever dealt with anxiety. About anything. I wrote a piece several posts ago called Lift, because I happen to love flying. But I grew up on planes.
An intense fear of heights (which doesn’t make sense with the flying, I know), combined with anxiety about driving long distances/in crazy places like Los Angeles, make it so that I have a near panic attack driving over bridges (I won’t anymore) or up and down mountains (pretty much don’t do that either). I don’t like how much control it has over me because it becomes limiting, and I know I need to deal with it. But it is REAL, and I get it.
Thank you for sharing Maria. I'm pretty sure I read and very much enjoyed that post (but I'll be sure to go back to like and leave a comment if I didn't originally!).
I also hate driving over bridges but especially up/down mountains, which is unfortunate considering how many beautiful mountains we have in California. The ways anxiety limits us is so frustrating. Thanks again for sharing—so appreciated. 😊
Thank you for taking us on this journey with you. Reading really does make it feel like we are there. Leah is such a gift of a human- I love reading about how supportive she is. I strive to be that kind of partner but often fall short due to my own anxieties.
❤️❤️❤️ thank you so much for your sweet words!! I think we all support each other in many different ways. When our flight got cancelled Jacob was the one who stayed calm and cool under pressure, while I was panicking over the logistics! I can tell from one comment that you are incredibly supportive and giving.
Thank you for being here and sharing your experiences as well! Leah is certainly a gift of a human, and I don't know what I'd do or where I'd be without her. I'm always striving to overcome my anxieties in pursuit of being a better partner, so you're definitely not alone there! 😊
I feel like our fear of flight partly stems from the fact that we are not in control. We literally cede the fate of our lives to some person up in the cockpit and hope that they would get us safely to where we are going. That sense of losing control of our own lives/destinies is very uncomfortable and makes us very very anxious.
Doga, exactly! I always want to be in control, and I struggle knowing when to cede that control or simply accept I have none. It's something I'm working on, for sure. Flying is an extreme example and test of that. Thanks for the thoughtful comment!
Love this…love the ending. I don’t mind flying but I have anxiety and a lot of pre- worrying! You’ve described it perfectly. Even though we know better, we breathe deeply, tell our brains to stop! Stop taking! 😅it’s hard. Sometimes it works though… that feeling of wow! I did it and I wasn’t anxious, I forgot to worry! Great piece Jacob! And cheers to your wife who gets you and supports you! True love! 🥰❤️😘
Thank you Joan! I'm happy this post resonated. I appreciate you sharing! And, yes, Leah is the best—so grateful for her. 😊 Thanks again for your support and thoughtful comment! 🙏🏻
The struggle for presence and peace is universal, yet intensely personal. Thank you for sharing such a raw and candid piece. I love your use of humor and irony, like referencing Alanis Morissette's lyrics! Added a refreshing touch to such a heavy topic. Love it!
Thank you Mohika. I appreciate your thoughtful comment. And, yes, I was hoping someone out there would appreciate the humor of Alanis Morissette lyrics finding their way into the piece. 😂 I try to balance out the heavy stuff with some silliness. Thanks again 😊
This is what I really connected to: "Land, sea, or air, my problem is the same: An inability to be here now. " So much time lost, spent in my head imagining the worse.
You and Leah need to watch Planes Trains and Automobiles. It's a genx movie and one of my husband and my favorite movies. It from the late 80s, but I think it resonates with many of us today
As Leah has pointed out in the comments below, we love this movie (and Christmas Vacation)! 😊 Absolute classics that can always ease my anxiety with some laughs!
Thank you Anna. I have a conference in Baltimore next April, and I'm already dreading the flight and feeling like I can't do it. It's a work in progress.
Love the Morrisette references! If you want them, here are some tips. Whenever you need it, repeat to yourself: "breathe in calm, breathe out anxiety and fear" and also listen to "You are Not Alone" from "Dear Evan Hansen".
Thank you for appreciating the Morrisette references 😂 and for the tips. I have some work-related flights coming up, and I'll need all the help I can get!
"Yet, the safety of the ground is also illusory. After all, it is on the ground where I inflict an obscene number of daily, imperceptible harms upon myself: Eating poorly, not sleeping, not exercising, losing myself to worry, to stress, to anger, to sadness. Here, too, I walk around lost in imagined disasters of every sort from the spectacular to the mundane, from getting terminally ill and losing the people I love to never being able to find a parking space and running perpetually late.
I get anxiety about driving when it's hectic on the freeway. We all have something right? Think about how you most likely don't know anyone personally who has been in a commercial airline crash. Same with being bitten by a shark or struck by lightening. Maybe try taking a Xanax next time 🤣🤣🤣thanks for sharing! sabrinalabow.substack.com
I have been asked about how to handle fear of jumping from a plane many times. My fear never went away even after hundreds of jumps, it just became manageable. Stress inoculation...
I have never had the fear of flying. In fact, air travel is the only mode where I sleep peacefully for there is no anxiety of missing my stops, luggage theft etc. This reminded me of the only time I got anxious in flight as I was upgraded to emergency seat. The added responsibility of opening the gate in case of emergency kept me worried throughout the flight. I was sure I would freeze and forget how to open the door. Not an experience I want to repeat.
Thank you Nikita. I aspire to your level of calm and enjoyment when flying! But, to your point, the emergency seat is another level of stress and responsibility. It's not worth the extra legroom—at least for me 😅
Thanks for sharing. As someone who suffers from anxiety. Sometimes a trip to the grocery store can feel overwhelming, but I do it anyway. You writing described perfectly what someone with an anxious mind struggles with daily
Thank you Jane. I, too, can find even the simplest of tasks overwhelming at times. I appreciate you sharing.
This is very relatable to any of us who have ever dealt with anxiety. About anything. I wrote a piece several posts ago called Lift, because I happen to love flying. But I grew up on planes.
An intense fear of heights (which doesn’t make sense with the flying, I know), combined with anxiety about driving long distances/in crazy places like Los Angeles, make it so that I have a near panic attack driving over bridges (I won’t anymore) or up and down mountains (pretty much don’t do that either). I don’t like how much control it has over me because it becomes limiting, and I know I need to deal with it. But it is REAL, and I get it.
Thank you for sharing Maria. I'm pretty sure I read and very much enjoyed that post (but I'll be sure to go back to like and leave a comment if I didn't originally!).
I also hate driving over bridges but especially up/down mountains, which is unfortunate considering how many beautiful mountains we have in California. The ways anxiety limits us is so frustrating. Thanks again for sharing—so appreciated. 😊
You were afraid and you did it anyway! Good job!
Thanks Pam!
Thank you for taking us on this journey with you. Reading really does make it feel like we are there. Leah is such a gift of a human- I love reading about how supportive she is. I strive to be that kind of partner but often fall short due to my own anxieties.
❤️❤️❤️ thank you so much for your sweet words!! I think we all support each other in many different ways. When our flight got cancelled Jacob was the one who stayed calm and cool under pressure, while I was panicking over the logistics! I can tell from one comment that you are incredibly supportive and giving.
The real Leah?! Hello!! Thank you for your kindness and sharing your humanity here- you made my morning SO bright. 🌞 🤍
Thank you for being here and sharing your experiences as well! Leah is certainly a gift of a human, and I don't know what I'd do or where I'd be without her. I'm always striving to overcome my anxieties in pursuit of being a better partner, so you're definitely not alone there! 😊
I'm happy to be alive at a time when Jacob from Dad trying is writing on his Substack!!! Love your posts!!!
Thank you Elfie! I appreciate your kind words and support 😊
I feel like our fear of flight partly stems from the fact that we are not in control. We literally cede the fate of our lives to some person up in the cockpit and hope that they would get us safely to where we are going. That sense of losing control of our own lives/destinies is very uncomfortable and makes us very very anxious.
Doga, exactly! I always want to be in control, and I struggle knowing when to cede that control or simply accept I have none. It's something I'm working on, for sure. Flying is an extreme example and test of that. Thanks for the thoughtful comment!
I have the same issue, and I’m working on it, too!
Love this…love the ending. I don’t mind flying but I have anxiety and a lot of pre- worrying! You’ve described it perfectly. Even though we know better, we breathe deeply, tell our brains to stop! Stop taking! 😅it’s hard. Sometimes it works though… that feeling of wow! I did it and I wasn’t anxious, I forgot to worry! Great piece Jacob! And cheers to your wife who gets you and supports you! True love! 🥰❤️😘
Thank you Joan! I'm happy this post resonated. I appreciate you sharing! And, yes, Leah is the best—so grateful for her. 😊 Thanks again for your support and thoughtful comment! 🙏🏻
The struggle for presence and peace is universal, yet intensely personal. Thank you for sharing such a raw and candid piece. I love your use of humor and irony, like referencing Alanis Morissette's lyrics! Added a refreshing touch to such a heavy topic. Love it!
Thank you Mohika. I appreciate your thoughtful comment. And, yes, I was hoping someone out there would appreciate the humor of Alanis Morissette lyrics finding their way into the piece. 😂 I try to balance out the heavy stuff with some silliness. Thanks again 😊
Perfect way of going about it Jacob!
This is what I really connected to: "Land, sea, or air, my problem is the same: An inability to be here now. " So much time lost, spent in my head imagining the worse.
Thank you for sharing LeeAnn. It's always nice to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.
Oh, and your chapbook recently arrived, and I can't wait to read and write about it 😊
Thank you for ordering a copy!
You and Leah need to watch Planes Trains and Automobiles. It's a genx movie and one of my husband and my favorite movies. It from the late 80s, but I think it resonates with many of us today
As Leah has pointed out in the comments below, we love this movie (and Christmas Vacation)! 😊 Absolute classics that can always ease my anxiety with some laughs!
This is one of our favorites!!! We watch it every Thanksgiving!!! I felt very Steve Martin this weekend! 🤣
My husband and I quote the movie and Christmas Vacation too. Both are classics!!
So we have identical taste in movies. I literally quote Christmas Vacation almost daily with a good ole “I DON’T KNOW MARGOT”!
Haha!! Yes!!!
Oh man, this is me. Thank you for sharing this... makes me think maybe I can get on a plane again someday.
Thank you Anna. I have a conference in Baltimore next April, and I'm already dreading the flight and feeling like I can't do it. It's a work in progress.
Love the Morrisette references! If you want them, here are some tips. Whenever you need it, repeat to yourself: "breathe in calm, breathe out anxiety and fear" and also listen to "You are Not Alone" from "Dear Evan Hansen".
Thank you for appreciating the Morrisette references 😂 and for the tips. I have some work-related flights coming up, and I'll need all the help I can get!
"Yet, the safety of the ground is also illusory. After all, it is on the ground where I inflict an obscene number of daily, imperceptible harms upon myself: Eating poorly, not sleeping, not exercising, losing myself to worry, to stress, to anger, to sadness. Here, too, I walk around lost in imagined disasters of every sort from the spectacular to the mundane, from getting terminally ill and losing the people I love to never being able to find a parking space and running perpetually late.
I’m never grounded—that’s the problem."
Beautifully said.
Thank you Kim! I appreciate your kind words. 🙏🏻
I get anxiety about driving when it's hectic on the freeway. We all have something right? Think about how you most likely don't know anyone personally who has been in a commercial airline crash. Same with being bitten by a shark or struck by lightening. Maybe try taking a Xanax next time 🤣🤣🤣thanks for sharing! sabrinalabow.substack.com
Hah! Indeed. Thanks for the tips Sabrina—I'll be sure to keep them in mind for my upcoming travels 😂
I have been asked about how to handle fear of jumping from a plane many times. My fear never went away even after hundreds of jumps, it just became manageable. Stress inoculation...
Thanks Fred. I love that term: "Stress inoculation." But it's comforting to hear that from a veteran like you. Appreciate you sharing.
I have never had the fear of flying. In fact, air travel is the only mode where I sleep peacefully for there is no anxiety of missing my stops, luggage theft etc. This reminded me of the only time I got anxious in flight as I was upgraded to emergency seat. The added responsibility of opening the gate in case of emergency kept me worried throughout the flight. I was sure I would freeze and forget how to open the door. Not an experience I want to repeat.
Thank you Nikita. I aspire to your level of calm and enjoyment when flying! But, to your point, the emergency seat is another level of stress and responsibility. It's not worth the extra legroom—at least for me 😅
Same here. My mind got so crampled that I didn't even notice the extra leg room. :)