Hi, Jacob. I couldn't help but want to share some feedback after reading this essay.
—Your personal essays that touch upon your non-Substack struggles, like the one about hugging your child, or about your dad, are engaging and highly readable, and I think they touch the heart in a unique way. I'd love to read more about your life and relationships. You're a good writer!
—re: Notes. While it is definitely true that being active on Notes leads to new subscribers, I think maybe your experience is not representative of the norm. I have never written Notes for the sole purpose of gaining subscribers (sure, I'm aware that it helps, but that awareness is compartmentalized). I enjoy it! You have a full-time job and are a dad so obviously you don't have time to participate in a more natural way, and maybe that's why it's a method or technique for you (and you've read the growth advice. When I read growth advice about Notes, I ignore it).
—I think maybe your experience on Notes, and maybe even with any negative comments, is not a large enough "sample" size. Of course, we're all going to bump into the occasional troll, and even more often, the "advice" giver. But the kind and affirmative comments are the rule here, I believe.
—In regards to your comment that of your new subscribers you didn't see any new friends or comments. My experience (relates to the "sample" size comment above) is that you gotta get a bunch of new subscribers for one or two of them to end up bobbing to the surface. And occasionally one even becomes a great fan and friend. But you need a lot. It's just science 🙂
—I have 2300 subscribers and my essays get about 100 to 150 likes for 2000 "views." That's a lot of people returning again and again to read my essays but not letting me know. It's just the nature of the platform. People consume. They don't really think to engage further. I don't even think they really think of the writer as a person who would sure like to know they liked what they read. It's kind of like a singer in a coffeeshop. Everyone is on their computer or talking with friends, not making eye contact, but they're listening!
—Finally, the anxiety you feel every Monday reminds me of when I use to perform as a singer/songwriter. I had more anxiety as a performer than I do as a writer. The anxiety and other weird feelings and expectations eventually led me to stop performing. After every performance I would ask myself, Why am I doing this? It was sort of a letdown (unless I performed really well and people showered me with compliments, but refer back to the coffeehouse comment above). I hope you don't quit but I just wanted to share that because your feelings really mirrored mine.
I love the singer in a coffee-shop example, Don! I read Jacob's letter and before commenting just casually checked what other people had to say, and I'm so happy to find such a positive data-oriented perspective on this. Thank you it sure helped me!!
You hit the nail on the head. It's the same journey with everyone but different with how we respond. But the key is to get glued to the things that can't be taken away from us. I will share your reply, it can encourage someone with the same predicament.
Jacob, I was going to write you lengthy feedback but then realized Don had already done so. His advice is great, so please read it through and take it to heart.
I enjoy personal essays more than anything else I read on Substack. When people write about their lives - the good and the bad, then that is the stuff that draws me in. Those articles help me realize I am not alone in my struggles and weirdness. That style of writing establishes a connection between the reader and writer.
Sorry I haven't been present in the comments for the past couple of months. Life has been busy but I hope to start engaging again here in this community. All the best my friend and keep writing!
Focus on what you have to say and share it. Focusing on growth is futile and detracts from your message. I am more interested in your stories and human struggles than how Substack is going. When you focus on what you want to say, the right people find you. Be a writer and focus on your craft. When you hit your stride with that, you'll grow. Just keep showing up.
Yes, what Janine said. Write what you want to write because it's important to you. Authenticity is attractive all by itself.
It also seems to me that your writing has served a purpose. Based on these comments, you're connecting with people, but it also sounds like you're learning about yourself. You're seeing themes and patterns. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to keep writing in the same vein forever, though. You're a Dad consciously trying, which also means you're growing, and your writing is likely to grow with you. Just keep writing.
Jacob, you teach and lead in the humanities department. I promise there are at least 5 professors there crazier than you!
I spent a lot of time in the humanities building at college and I’m pretty sure angst is a minimum qualification for that field. If anything, your colleagues are probably like “Damn. He publishes every week??? I gotta get my shit together and write something this quarter.”
Other readers have said what I wanted to say about your writing content so I’ll just nod to them.
And lastly, about growth. Your Substack IS growing. Slower than you were hoping, but it is growing. I’m a podcast producer and I tell clients “give people a year to figure out you exist”. On average, podcasts grow by 1-2% per month. Slow and steady growth is a good thing.
I know that’s audio and you’re a writer, so it’s not exactly the same. But I hope it helps you compare yourself accurately to others who are creating. I think your numbers are good for less than 6 months of posting.
Everything aside (if possible) I need you to know that your writing provides a sense of solidarity and comfort to many, including me. It’s tough putting yourself out there, especially when it feels like you’re exposing so much of your inner world. But that’s exactly what makes your writing so powerful and relatable.
We launched our publication's around the same time, Aug 03 for me. I have posted every week (sometimes even twice) & have seen marginal growth on the platform. I'm not a mom but I do run a business that keeps me occupied 24/7 to say the least. In short, finding time to write shorter pieces/thought nuggets is difficult and I have come to accept it. I do try to make time for it, but I don't beat myself up if I'm unable to on any given day. Same applies to reading and commenting on other Substack newsletters. When I do read, I love to drop a comment or a like, or engage in some way, but I don't worry about it. I used to.
I have learned that I write because that's important for me. How I process the world. To refine my skills & share it with the community I'm building. I focus on that. & my job, ofc.
This does mean that my growth is in spurts. In fact, I have a feeling (just a feeling) that Substack favor's the USA location a lot more than India (where I'm from) They haven't even opened up Stripe for Businesses here (predicted Nov'25 but who knows?). I do enjoy the platform in general as a consumer and a writer, so I continue to read & write.
I HAVE THOUGHT OF publishing more work on Medium though - but again, I'm not sure if I want work to be divided on 2 platforms. What's it like for you?
Jacob, you are doing just fine. We have been here pretty close to the same time with about the same number of posts. I’m not out here to make a buck or a name for myself, but when I put something out there, hell yeah, I’m scared. I write as a form of therapy, to try and get my mind off some of the garbage of today. You noted your writing is for in part, the same reason - the therapy. I want to put stuff out there I am somewhat knowledgable about and concentrate on past experiences. Those experiences hopefully (although not always) bring back good times and a sense of relief. The fear comes from, is this interesting enough ? Will people actually read it ? Will they look for more ? How many experiences can I put out there and keep interest ? Any and all positive (or sometimes negative too, I have to be honest) comments are a boost. When I see so many views and comments or likes, I just go wow ! It’s a feel good moment. If I can help someone out of give someone some clarity with my story, all the better.
Your feelings about the notes section is totally on point, and I’m with you on it. Notes can be too Facebook-like or X-like. I got away from that. It’s so much of my more recent mental issues and I’m so glad I got away from it. I do try to bypass some of the nonsense here, but yet, right now it is my news source and that’s how I stay up to date. I get mad at myself when I get dragged into something with a troll or some flat out bonehead. I just don’t have the fortitude, energy or desire to deal with them. This past weekend for me was one I needed to step back from here. I just got into too much of the garbage and I want and need to keep it to a minimum. I think we’re both on the same plateau on that. I have found that notes will help you in that it will get people interested in your thoughts. And obviously, if you can do it, the more you reach and connect with the better chance of word of mouth and referral, and those are the people you want to reach.
Your personal stories of the challenges and issues you face are what make you the writer, story teller or guide you are. Yes, it is probably most important to you, but you can’t imagine how many people it truly affects. There are those who will tell you flat out and those who don’t. If you influence just one person it should all be worth it. I’d be willing to bet it’s so much more. Don’t be over obsessed with the actual numbers. Your loyal followers are the one you want to keep and should be your focus and most important. Sure you want to grow, but be true to yourself and why you are here. To get a story out there, your story. To feel better. I hope you can take what so many people are saying to you in these comments to heart.
You are doing just fine. The fear just keeps you honest and real. Don’t give up, keep on it…if it were too easy, it probably wouldn’t be any good and then and only then it probably wouldn’t be worth it either.
“Unfortunately, outside of connecting with other Substack writers and readers, I’m not sure what I'm doing on dad trying. “ It seems to me that connecting with other Substack writers and readers is a noble goal in and of itself. Partly because the substance of that connection which can be truly life affirming. Also, I hear you on not wanting to post vulnerable stuff all the time. One thing I read from a song writer was that she wrote songs about things that were vulnerable but had happened long enough ago to heal. That she’d wait before sharing the super raw stuff. Not advice necessarily, just something that stuck with me.
I agree with the comments above! Stop worrying about numbers and stats, tell your stories, show us your heart, your life, whatever parts you want us to see. Forget the rules and goals and nonsense. You're a great writer!
It is so refreshing to read your confessions as a new Substack writer, who is also writing from the heart and realizing that a lot of people that I know are reading what I write--Yikes! Thank you for showing up, sitting in the chair, and writing honestly. Your work does not go unnoticed, and I'm sure that you'll continue to climb, discover, and even relish in small victories both in life and online. Bravo, friend! If you find the time, I'd love to hear your thoughts on one of my most recent personal essays over on Human/Mother: https://katrinadonhamwrites.substack.com/p/snake-night. Thanks!
First of all, thank you for putting all of this out there. You echo so much of my journey here, and it is so comforting to know I'm not alone. For me, I've had a lot of moments when I've fallen down the comparison trap: I don't publish as often as everyone else, is this filling me up or draining me, I haven't read or commented enough, oh my gosh I haven't posted on Notes, and always the "chase" for subscribers. It took me a little while to make peace with the writer I am and my writing priorities. I really think there's room for everyone.
Just so you know, I truly look forward to your posts each Monday. Not only do you write beautifully, you hone in on universal truths through your very personal stories. They are always a joy to read.
Have you considered creating another section for your Substack? One for less personal pieces? Or maybe CHARGING for the more personal work so that you know you are writing for an invested, trusted group of readers?
How to share our work is such an individual, evolving process, isn't it? You're doing great and I'm really so glad you're here!
I feel you. It's even scaring. It can get into your skin. I have felt the same. But you know what, continue revolving yourself, keep posting, reduce the urge for external validation, continue connecting to yourself deeply so you can remain grounded. We face the same thing but it's patience, grit, persistence, perseverance in the preface of our writing troubles that keeps us going, meeting new subscribers, expanding your. The fact that you're not new to me means I have been reading your notes. Cheers
Interesting; I turned off all those Substack notifications about metrics but have been publishing bi-weekly since I started and twice a week since April so now I'm curious where I stand in that mix....
Yeah, I get the whole anxiety around putting yourself out there. Whether it's essays or fiction or poetry if you put your heart and soul into it, there's gonna be some anxiety about how it will be received. How can there not be? At work there's always "It's not personal, it's just business." But putting yourself out there IS personal, you know?
I get the same way but I cope with levity...I mean, I write bad poetry, so how seriously can I take myself, right?😂 I adopt Jerry Seinfeld's mentality..."Just accept that you're mediocre!" Not that you are mediocre, just that I am, so it takes the edge off.
Anyway great that you're doing the work...hard work might not make you successful, but you won't be successful if you don't work hard!
Hi, Jacob. I couldn't help but want to share some feedback after reading this essay.
—Your personal essays that touch upon your non-Substack struggles, like the one about hugging your child, or about your dad, are engaging and highly readable, and I think they touch the heart in a unique way. I'd love to read more about your life and relationships. You're a good writer!
—re: Notes. While it is definitely true that being active on Notes leads to new subscribers, I think maybe your experience is not representative of the norm. I have never written Notes for the sole purpose of gaining subscribers (sure, I'm aware that it helps, but that awareness is compartmentalized). I enjoy it! You have a full-time job and are a dad so obviously you don't have time to participate in a more natural way, and maybe that's why it's a method or technique for you (and you've read the growth advice. When I read growth advice about Notes, I ignore it).
—I think maybe your experience on Notes, and maybe even with any negative comments, is not a large enough "sample" size. Of course, we're all going to bump into the occasional troll, and even more often, the "advice" giver. But the kind and affirmative comments are the rule here, I believe.
—In regards to your comment that of your new subscribers you didn't see any new friends or comments. My experience (relates to the "sample" size comment above) is that you gotta get a bunch of new subscribers for one or two of them to end up bobbing to the surface. And occasionally one even becomes a great fan and friend. But you need a lot. It's just science 🙂
—I have 2300 subscribers and my essays get about 100 to 150 likes for 2000 "views." That's a lot of people returning again and again to read my essays but not letting me know. It's just the nature of the platform. People consume. They don't really think to engage further. I don't even think they really think of the writer as a person who would sure like to know they liked what they read. It's kind of like a singer in a coffeeshop. Everyone is on their computer or talking with friends, not making eye contact, but they're listening!
—Finally, the anxiety you feel every Monday reminds me of when I use to perform as a singer/songwriter. I had more anxiety as a performer than I do as a writer. The anxiety and other weird feelings and expectations eventually led me to stop performing. After every performance I would ask myself, Why am I doing this? It was sort of a letdown (unless I performed really well and people showered me with compliments, but refer back to the coffeehouse comment above). I hope you don't quit but I just wanted to share that because your feelings really mirrored mine.
Hope all this is helpful!
I love the singer in a coffee-shop example, Don! I read Jacob's letter and before commenting just casually checked what other people had to say, and I'm so happy to find such a positive data-oriented perspective on this. Thank you it sure helped me!!
Hi, Mohika. I’m glad, and I’m glad to see you here! Did you see my comment where I noticed that we are both both Virgos? 👏😀
You hit the nail on the head. It's the same journey with everyone but different with how we respond. But the key is to get glued to the things that can't be taken away from us. I will share your reply, it can encourage someone with the same predicament.
Thanks, Edwin. 🙏💚
Jacob, I was going to write you lengthy feedback but then realized Don had already done so. His advice is great, so please read it through and take it to heart.
I enjoy personal essays more than anything else I read on Substack. When people write about their lives - the good and the bad, then that is the stuff that draws me in. Those articles help me realize I am not alone in my struggles and weirdness. That style of writing establishes a connection between the reader and writer.
Sorry I haven't been present in the comments for the past couple of months. Life has been busy but I hope to start engaging again here in this community. All the best my friend and keep writing!
Focus on what you have to say and share it. Focusing on growth is futile and detracts from your message. I am more interested in your stories and human struggles than how Substack is going. When you focus on what you want to say, the right people find you. Be a writer and focus on your craft. When you hit your stride with that, you'll grow. Just keep showing up.
Yes, what Janine said. Write what you want to write because it's important to you. Authenticity is attractive all by itself.
It also seems to me that your writing has served a purpose. Based on these comments, you're connecting with people, but it also sounds like you're learning about yourself. You're seeing themes and patterns. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to keep writing in the same vein forever, though. You're a Dad consciously trying, which also means you're growing, and your writing is likely to grow with you. Just keep writing.
I enjoy your posts 😊
I was a parent to two (adopted) special needs kids. And now I’m a parent to two special needs adults.
It’s helpful to read others’ experiences, insights and thoughts.
Jacob, you teach and lead in the humanities department. I promise there are at least 5 professors there crazier than you!
I spent a lot of time in the humanities building at college and I’m pretty sure angst is a minimum qualification for that field. If anything, your colleagues are probably like “Damn. He publishes every week??? I gotta get my shit together and write something this quarter.”
Other readers have said what I wanted to say about your writing content so I’ll just nod to them.
And lastly, about growth. Your Substack IS growing. Slower than you were hoping, but it is growing. I’m a podcast producer and I tell clients “give people a year to figure out you exist”. On average, podcasts grow by 1-2% per month. Slow and steady growth is a good thing.
I know that’s audio and you’re a writer, so it’s not exactly the same. But I hope it helps you compare yourself accurately to others who are creating. I think your numbers are good for less than 6 months of posting.
Everything aside (if possible) I need you to know that your writing provides a sense of solidarity and comfort to many, including me. It’s tough putting yourself out there, especially when it feels like you’re exposing so much of your inner world. But that’s exactly what makes your writing so powerful and relatable.
We launched our publication's around the same time, Aug 03 for me. I have posted every week (sometimes even twice) & have seen marginal growth on the platform. I'm not a mom but I do run a business that keeps me occupied 24/7 to say the least. In short, finding time to write shorter pieces/thought nuggets is difficult and I have come to accept it. I do try to make time for it, but I don't beat myself up if I'm unable to on any given day. Same applies to reading and commenting on other Substack newsletters. When I do read, I love to drop a comment or a like, or engage in some way, but I don't worry about it. I used to.
I have learned that I write because that's important for me. How I process the world. To refine my skills & share it with the community I'm building. I focus on that. & my job, ofc.
This does mean that my growth is in spurts. In fact, I have a feeling (just a feeling) that Substack favor's the USA location a lot more than India (where I'm from) They haven't even opened up Stripe for Businesses here (predicted Nov'25 but who knows?). I do enjoy the platform in general as a consumer and a writer, so I continue to read & write.
I HAVE THOUGHT OF publishing more work on Medium though - but again, I'm not sure if I want work to be divided on 2 platforms. What's it like for you?
Hope this helps!
Mo
Jacob, you are doing just fine. We have been here pretty close to the same time with about the same number of posts. I’m not out here to make a buck or a name for myself, but when I put something out there, hell yeah, I’m scared. I write as a form of therapy, to try and get my mind off some of the garbage of today. You noted your writing is for in part, the same reason - the therapy. I want to put stuff out there I am somewhat knowledgable about and concentrate on past experiences. Those experiences hopefully (although not always) bring back good times and a sense of relief. The fear comes from, is this interesting enough ? Will people actually read it ? Will they look for more ? How many experiences can I put out there and keep interest ? Any and all positive (or sometimes negative too, I have to be honest) comments are a boost. When I see so many views and comments or likes, I just go wow ! It’s a feel good moment. If I can help someone out of give someone some clarity with my story, all the better.
Your feelings about the notes section is totally on point, and I’m with you on it. Notes can be too Facebook-like or X-like. I got away from that. It’s so much of my more recent mental issues and I’m so glad I got away from it. I do try to bypass some of the nonsense here, but yet, right now it is my news source and that’s how I stay up to date. I get mad at myself when I get dragged into something with a troll or some flat out bonehead. I just don’t have the fortitude, energy or desire to deal with them. This past weekend for me was one I needed to step back from here. I just got into too much of the garbage and I want and need to keep it to a minimum. I think we’re both on the same plateau on that. I have found that notes will help you in that it will get people interested in your thoughts. And obviously, if you can do it, the more you reach and connect with the better chance of word of mouth and referral, and those are the people you want to reach.
Your personal stories of the challenges and issues you face are what make you the writer, story teller or guide you are. Yes, it is probably most important to you, but you can’t imagine how many people it truly affects. There are those who will tell you flat out and those who don’t. If you influence just one person it should all be worth it. I’d be willing to bet it’s so much more. Don’t be over obsessed with the actual numbers. Your loyal followers are the one you want to keep and should be your focus and most important. Sure you want to grow, but be true to yourself and why you are here. To get a story out there, your story. To feel better. I hope you can take what so many people are saying to you in these comments to heart.
You are doing just fine. The fear just keeps you honest and real. Don’t give up, keep on it…if it were too easy, it probably wouldn’t be any good and then and only then it probably wouldn’t be worth it either.
“Unfortunately, outside of connecting with other Substack writers and readers, I’m not sure what I'm doing on dad trying. “ It seems to me that connecting with other Substack writers and readers is a noble goal in and of itself. Partly because the substance of that connection which can be truly life affirming. Also, I hear you on not wanting to post vulnerable stuff all the time. One thing I read from a song writer was that she wrote songs about things that were vulnerable but had happened long enough ago to heal. That she’d wait before sharing the super raw stuff. Not advice necessarily, just something that stuck with me.
I agree with the comments above! Stop worrying about numbers and stats, tell your stories, show us your heart, your life, whatever parts you want us to see. Forget the rules and goals and nonsense. You're a great writer!
Just came to say your presence has been missed this month! ♥️
It is so refreshing to read your confessions as a new Substack writer, who is also writing from the heart and realizing that a lot of people that I know are reading what I write--Yikes! Thank you for showing up, sitting in the chair, and writing honestly. Your work does not go unnoticed, and I'm sure that you'll continue to climb, discover, and even relish in small victories both in life and online. Bravo, friend! If you find the time, I'd love to hear your thoughts on one of my most recent personal essays over on Human/Mother: https://katrinadonhamwrites.substack.com/p/snake-night. Thanks!
First of all, thank you for putting all of this out there. You echo so much of my journey here, and it is so comforting to know I'm not alone. For me, I've had a lot of moments when I've fallen down the comparison trap: I don't publish as often as everyone else, is this filling me up or draining me, I haven't read or commented enough, oh my gosh I haven't posted on Notes, and always the "chase" for subscribers. It took me a little while to make peace with the writer I am and my writing priorities. I really think there's room for everyone.
Just so you know, I truly look forward to your posts each Monday. Not only do you write beautifully, you hone in on universal truths through your very personal stories. They are always a joy to read.
Have you considered creating another section for your Substack? One for less personal pieces? Or maybe CHARGING for the more personal work so that you know you are writing for an invested, trusted group of readers?
How to share our work is such an individual, evolving process, isn't it? You're doing great and I'm really so glad you're here!
"It’s hard to grow when you’re this scared."
I feel you. It's even scaring. It can get into your skin. I have felt the same. But you know what, continue revolving yourself, keep posting, reduce the urge for external validation, continue connecting to yourself deeply so you can remain grounded. We face the same thing but it's patience, grit, persistence, perseverance in the preface of our writing troubles that keeps us going, meeting new subscribers, expanding your. The fact that you're not new to me means I have been reading your notes. Cheers
i hear ya -
wow, nice effort of keeping on top of stats. Almost makes me want to look more into that side of things
Interesting; I turned off all those Substack notifications about metrics but have been publishing bi-weekly since I started and twice a week since April so now I'm curious where I stand in that mix....
Yeah, I get the whole anxiety around putting yourself out there. Whether it's essays or fiction or poetry if you put your heart and soul into it, there's gonna be some anxiety about how it will be received. How can there not be? At work there's always "It's not personal, it's just business." But putting yourself out there IS personal, you know?
I get the same way but I cope with levity...I mean, I write bad poetry, so how seriously can I take myself, right?😂 I adopt Jerry Seinfeld's mentality..."Just accept that you're mediocre!" Not that you are mediocre, just that I am, so it takes the edge off.
Anyway great that you're doing the work...hard work might not make you successful, but you won't be successful if you don't work hard!
Good luck!