This was the first sunstack that showed up on my feed early this morning and it held my attention to the end. That says a lot for me, especially at 6am!! So we'll written and heart-felt for sure!
Thank you Jane! I never expect readers to be reading my new posts at 6am, so what a compliment that you stay engaged with and finished the piece! So appreciated ☺️
Thank you Adrian. I knew when I started dad trying that I wanted to occasionally explore the topics of masculinity and vulnerability, so I'm happy you saw that and enjoyed the piece. Appreciate your presence and comments as always! 🙏🏻
Great Dad's inspire us. The manner of inspiration, or the focus of our pride isn't nearly as important as their ability to stand and be present for us.
My Dad fought cancer for 16 years before his death. His memory failed him he and he struggled to remember me the last year of his life. He still understood he was important to me. Kissing him on the head the last time I saw him alive was a tribute to the warrior he was.
Such a thoughtful, beautiful comment Fred. I really appreciate this. You're right about the importance of dads standing up and being present for us. What a gift to be able to offer your dad that tribute. Thanks again.
What a beautiful, heartfelt piece, Jacob. Loved it. As the mother of three boys, I always think about how our parenting/teaching is subconsciously shaped by gender, even with it being front and center in conversations surrounding personal identity. I tend to push back on the “tough guy” pressure, which, while it’s eased plenty in recent years, is still there in certain contexts. And still, there is biological wiring, which also needs to be honored. I just want to put nice guys out into the world, and I tell them this all the time.❤️
As for how your work is received, I always love the idea that creative work is only partially done when we present it; it’s completed by our readers (listeners, viewers, etc.) when they bring their own backgrounds and experiences and points of reference to the piece. I always look forward to your work because I know it’s going to be real.
Maria, It sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job nurturing empathy and kindness in your boys, a truly valuable contribution to their personal growth and to society at large. Your approach of challenging traditional gender stereotypes while respecting individual inclinations is thoughtful and balanced.
Also, your engagement with and appreciation for the creative process surely enriches your experience of any work. Do you find that your parenting approach influences how you interpret and interact with creative works, especially those dealing with themes of identity and personal development?
Thank you for your kind words, and what an interesting question. I think it's an easy yes, although not specific to gender stereotypes. Professional identity, questioning professional/personal life choices, honoring how we change over our lives, and discovering our creativity fascinate me...likely due to my own experiences.
Maria, thank you as always for the thoughtful, insight comment. You're absolutely right about the gender dynamics at play. I think about this in terms of my parenting but also in how I negotiate or think about my own masculinity and the expectations that come with it. I think putting nice guys out into the world is a noble and virtuous goal indeed. ☺️
I also love the idea that readers/viewers complete the work. Even when I'm writing about personal subjects, I try to do it in a way that leaves room for my reader to bring their own experience to the piece and connect. Thanks again for the kind words 🙏🏻
Hey, nice essay! Lots of pathos here as well as a lot of love for your dad.
It's interesting, but my childhood and youth was much like your father's in that I was in a lot of fights (I was raised by a single woman, was poor so I worked a lot of manual labor, and I am also small so I became a natural target for bullies). It can destroy you or you can make it a positive. Sounds like your dad did the latter. Good on him.
Thank you for the kind words, and it means a lot you related/connected to the piece. It's always difficult trying to condense someone else's story or experience, so it's heartening when folks are able to find something to connect to. It sounds like you made a positive out of your experience as well. Thanks again for sharing and being here.
I just stumbled upon this lovely piece. I had a tough guy Dad as well, unfortunately not leavened by unconditional love. The lesson I took away is to be sure to show my love, that I would rather stand in a stance of too loving rather than not enough. I salute both your process with your Dad and your ability to get it onto paper. Well done.
Hi Bill! Thank you for sharing and taking the time to read my post and comment—means a lot to me! I really like how you phrased this: "I would rather stand in a stance of too loving rather than not enough." Indeed! I'm right there with you. Thanks again for the kind words and the comment 🙏🏻
Jacob, another great installment in your story. Getting to know you through these episodes is really intriguing. Love the pictures of you and your Dad. Keep up the great work.
Thanks Matthew! Your kind words and comments always mean a lot. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece and the pictures! Hoping I can get dad to join me for a video soon.😂 We'll see.
Great job of writing Jacob. Honest and heartfelt. I know exactly what you're talking about in this post, and I would venture a guess that many reading this piece do too. Father/son, Mother/daughter is a relationship that is especially complex and far reaching to say the least. You did a very good job of examining that. - Jim
You did everything right...you did not win that fight because you lacked the practice. Not that winning fist fights teach you much. I prefer words too, but sometimes you are going to just have to fight. Well told...and a Great dad too^^
Great story, glad I found it!
Thank you Joshua! Appreciate you taking the time to comment.
Loving your stories, Jacob, so glad I get to read them! And your dad sounds great.
Thank you Anna! I'm a fan of your work, so the compliment means a lot!
And dad is great! I think so anyway 🤣 Hopefully I'll get him on here for a video interview soon...he'd get a kick out of that.
This was the first sunstack that showed up on my feed early this morning and it held my attention to the end. That says a lot for me, especially at 6am!! So we'll written and heart-felt for sure!
Thank you Jane! I never expect readers to be reading my new posts at 6am, so what a compliment that you stay engaged with and finished the piece! So appreciated ☺️
6am is the only time here for me lol. At the end of the day my brain is mush
I totally get that 😅🫠
I love how you use this story to explore masculinity and vulnerability and their intersections with memory and fatherhood. Very well written!
Thank you Adrian. I knew when I started dad trying that I wanted to occasionally explore the topics of masculinity and vulnerability, so I'm happy you saw that and enjoyed the piece. Appreciate your presence and comments as always! 🙏🏻
Great Dad's inspire us. The manner of inspiration, or the focus of our pride isn't nearly as important as their ability to stand and be present for us.
My Dad fought cancer for 16 years before his death. His memory failed him he and he struggled to remember me the last year of his life. He still understood he was important to me. Kissing him on the head the last time I saw him alive was a tribute to the warrior he was.
Such a thoughtful, beautiful comment Fred. I really appreciate this. You're right about the importance of dads standing up and being present for us. What a gift to be able to offer your dad that tribute. Thanks again.
What a beautiful, heartfelt piece, Jacob. Loved it. As the mother of three boys, I always think about how our parenting/teaching is subconsciously shaped by gender, even with it being front and center in conversations surrounding personal identity. I tend to push back on the “tough guy” pressure, which, while it’s eased plenty in recent years, is still there in certain contexts. And still, there is biological wiring, which also needs to be honored. I just want to put nice guys out into the world, and I tell them this all the time.❤️
As for how your work is received, I always love the idea that creative work is only partially done when we present it; it’s completed by our readers (listeners, viewers, etc.) when they bring their own backgrounds and experiences and points of reference to the piece. I always look forward to your work because I know it’s going to be real.
Maria, It sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job nurturing empathy and kindness in your boys, a truly valuable contribution to their personal growth and to society at large. Your approach of challenging traditional gender stereotypes while respecting individual inclinations is thoughtful and balanced.
Also, your engagement with and appreciation for the creative process surely enriches your experience of any work. Do you find that your parenting approach influences how you interpret and interact with creative works, especially those dealing with themes of identity and personal development?
Thank you for your kind words, and what an interesting question. I think it's an easy yes, although not specific to gender stereotypes. Professional identity, questioning professional/personal life choices, honoring how we change over our lives, and discovering our creativity fascinate me...likely due to my own experiences.
Maria, thank you as always for the thoughtful, insight comment. You're absolutely right about the gender dynamics at play. I think about this in terms of my parenting but also in how I negotiate or think about my own masculinity and the expectations that come with it. I think putting nice guys out into the world is a noble and virtuous goal indeed. ☺️
I also love the idea that readers/viewers complete the work. Even when I'm writing about personal subjects, I try to do it in a way that leaves room for my reader to bring their own experience to the piece and connect. Thanks again for the kind words 🙏🏻
Hey, nice essay! Lots of pathos here as well as a lot of love for your dad.
It's interesting, but my childhood and youth was much like your father's in that I was in a lot of fights (I was raised by a single woman, was poor so I worked a lot of manual labor, and I am also small so I became a natural target for bullies). It can destroy you or you can make it a positive. Sounds like your dad did the latter. Good on him.
I really related to this.
Thank you for the kind words, and it means a lot you related/connected to the piece. It's always difficult trying to condense someone else's story or experience, so it's heartening when folks are able to find something to connect to. It sounds like you made a positive out of your experience as well. Thanks again for sharing and being here.
What a wonderful story. While the parenting was/is very different, the love clearly was/is passed down between the generations.
Thank you Nancy ☺️
So true, Nancy.
I just stumbled upon this lovely piece. I had a tough guy Dad as well, unfortunately not leavened by unconditional love. The lesson I took away is to be sure to show my love, that I would rather stand in a stance of too loving rather than not enough. I salute both your process with your Dad and your ability to get it onto paper. Well done.
Hi Bill! Thank you for sharing and taking the time to read my post and comment—means a lot to me! I really like how you phrased this: "I would rather stand in a stance of too loving rather than not enough." Indeed! I'm right there with you. Thanks again for the kind words and the comment 🙏🏻
Relatable and reflective for me. There goes my afternoon; I'll be thinking about my dad and being a dad myself. :)
Thanks Jesse! So happy to hear the post could serve as an opportunity for reflection. I appreciate your presence here as always 🙏🏻
Beautiful bro, absolutely beautiful 😭✊🏽
Thank you so much Jamal! You know I’m a big fan of your work, so that means a lot. 🙏🏻
Great job, Jacob!
Thanks Don! Appreciate it! ☺️
Jacob, another great installment in your story. Getting to know you through these episodes is really intriguing. Love the pictures of you and your Dad. Keep up the great work.
Thanks Matthew! Your kind words and comments always mean a lot. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece and the pictures! Hoping I can get dad to join me for a video soon.😂 We'll see.
Great job of writing Jacob. Honest and heartfelt. I know exactly what you're talking about in this post, and I would venture a guess that many reading this piece do too. Father/son, Mother/daughter is a relationship that is especially complex and far reaching to say the least. You did a very good job of examining that. - Jim
Thank you Jim. I appreciate it. It's always difficult trying to capture that complexity, especially in a "short" piece (i.e., not a memoir!).
You did everything right...you did not win that fight because you lacked the practice. Not that winning fist fights teach you much. I prefer words too, but sometimes you are going to just have to fight. Well told...and a Great dad too^^
Well said Graeme. I appreciate your thoughtful and kind words and taking the time to comment.